Hi. I wanted to come here again and pour my heart out :)

I've recently started gardening and exercising again.

I don't know if it's a good idea to talk about exercising because I know I usually can't keep it longer than 2 weeks.

I hope I would be able to exercise continously.

I didn't know my ring fit level was level 70 when I came back.

So I have to try and keep up with the level I left with.

hmmm Should I go back to level 1?

I also wanted to talk about going back to DMM.

I didn't realize how old my desktop is until I started teaching again.

I feel like I need to buy a new computer because the audio is bad sometimes when I teach in the afternoon.

I think I know what I should get for Christmas then.

I was hoping I could save money to travel but I guess It's not good then yet.

ーメイコ

This is to remind myself this is how my table should look like in the morning.

I always talk about how messy my room is.

So I need to at least keep a semblance of order in my room.

bonus Momo because Happy Happy 💕

ーメイコ

I dunno why but I saw this today.

I always read about this because of the level test.

So I just wanted to show you guys about it too.

I'm almost finished with school work!

Just give me a few days or so I'll be able to finish the courses.

I might just have to finish the thesis next time or whatever.

I can finally spend more time with you guys!

Also focus on my JLPT exam.

I'm a bit worried with my vocabulary, so I plan to make flashcards again.

I don't know why but I really like the fact that Japanese people taught me the importance of flashcards.

In my country, flashcards aren't really important.

We depend more on bulleted list of things.

Maybe that's one reason why I found school a bit boring.

I wonder what kind of school teacher I would be if I became one.

Who knows? I'm not sure if you guys know, but I've been telling some students that I might might change my major to education.

My mom told me that if I can, I should try to look for a job in Japan.

I learned a few days ago that I need to have education degree to be an ALT.

But I dunno if I should be an ALT, however the thought of me living there sounds really good.

Especially since my mom told me she would help me.

I wonder tho? Sometimes I'm really wary of receiving help nowadays.

Well that might be it for me today. I need to finish this! Wish me luck! 💛

ーメイコ

I feel really sorry for inconveniencing everyone since yesterday ( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ _ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ )

I wish I can really do something myself so I can fix the problem (⊃д⊂)

A repairman went here but somehow the problem got worse ( ͒˃̩̩⌂˂̩̩ ͒)

I'm really sorry everyone (ノдヽ)

I really wanted to see everyone today but today is no good (´;︵;`)

I hope the substitute teachers are ok (੭ ˃̣̣̥ ㅂ˂̣̣̥)੭ु

I hope tomorrow will be ok (´д｀、)

ーメイコ

I feel really guilty whenever classes get cut because of the internet connection I have.

I'm really sorry whenever I inconvenience everyone m(_ _)m

I'm not sure if everyone knows so I'll just write about it here.

I've been calling my service provider a lot and actually there is an issue with my service provider.

I learned last week that most of their employees are protesting against the company.


I feel bad about it. I mean I'm also not a regular worker.

but unlike them I'm a freelancer.

So I have a lot of control on how I work and how much time I work.

Anyways, going back to my problem.

It's really inconvenient that they're protesting just right after the company upgrades their system

So we are to expect a lot of bugs because it's an upgrade right?

I'm really unlucky that I'm affected this long.

It's been almost a month now.

I'm really sorry. and I really appreciate those students who still want to talk to me.

Despite knowing that these inconveniences happen.

I feel really bad and guilty and I think I deserve not getting good stars because of these.

But I feel really happy whenever I know I still have students who show their appreciation by still talking to me and going to class with me.

You don't know how much this means to me (˃̩̩̥ɷ˂̩̩̥)

I hope for those who don't know I hope I at least get to explain here.

I really hope I don't get hated because of this.

I hope I still get to see everyone in class! (๑′̥̥̥▵‵̥̥̥ ૂ๑)

ーメイコ

I think I semi gave up making new Lesson notes now.

I recycle the lesson notes I've been using for 5 months I think.

I'm getting lazy.

I've been thinking about it but should I just use like one default?

I'm going to leave my thoughts at chatbox rather than the lesson notes?

I'm not even sure anymore.

Please help me think about it?

I'm a bit sad.

Not sure if my students notice but I've been changing my schedule.

In Catholic time, It's the holy week next week.

To be honest.

I don't really want to miss any more days teaching because I feel my days are incomplete without it.

But I don't want to risk it being too noisy in the background while having classes with you guys.

So sorry if I decided not to open classes next week too much.

I live next to the church and it's going to be dangerously noisy.

I don't want to annoy you guys so I hope you guys understand.

I love you guys.

ーメイコ

I'm a bit upset that I've been a little too busy to post blogs lately.

So here I am now.

kinda updating what's been happening to me.

hmmm. How do I even start?

This year started both good and bad I think.

Great because
I'm thrilled it's finally happening.

I'm finally going to start moving forward again and life is starting to have a good direction.

It's been great because I've been having full classes since 2 weeks before the new year.

I feel really blessed!

I have soo many things I want to talk about. but I've been soo exhausted I don't have time to blog. It makes me sad a bit to not post but I guess I have a bit too much on my plate.

It was yesterday that I was officially enrolled.

I want to tell how my new year has been but I think I need to put it on a separate blog post.

For now, I just want everyone to know that on my days off since January 2, I haven't really been getting days off but I've been preparing for school. That might be it for now. I love everyone :) <3

ーメイコ

Today and yesterday are good days.

Just a little push more and I'll be there.

It's almost within my reach.

But it's going to be tough.

aia. I'm scared. but I need to be able to do it.

I need to do it!

Wish me luck!
ーメイコ

I'm currently doing my TESOL exams.

I feel like I need to finish these quickly.

I don't know maybe a Christmas gift for myself?

I haven't been working on it.

I'm just all work and all play.

No studying.

やばいこれ

Well thankfully, I finished 3.

I'm a bit so so on this.

I think I'm not really doing my best.

I understand the material easily so I'm not doing much effort.

This is one thing I really don't like about myself.

ーメイコ

Somehow.

I feel like I've been listing my achievements at work

Well. They are all I have lately

So I don't think I can really properly talk about anything but work.

aia. This might be all for today.

too tired

and

I did something wrong with my body.

I better rest now.

おやすみ

ー

I don't know why but I felt like sharing a video again. I don't really know what to talk about today because I'm a little bit under the weather and I didn't really know what to do with myself today. I was really pushing myself to be 元気 a while ago. I really wanted to make everyone feel good today so I tried my best to be happy. Today is not in vain tho I got good comments that made me happy as well. I guess another push for me to always move forward. Thank you everyone. From the bottom of my heart

ーメイコ

I have to be honest. There are lots of days where I have lots of good classes. But in all honesty, not every class is good. Sometimes I feel even really bad about the classes. I feel really bad saying this but sometimes out of 16 classes, I have very good classes for 15 classes and I get this one class that is very unsatisfactory for me, I feel sad and unsettled at night despite having almost a very good day for most of the day. as much as I hate saying this, it really gets me down. I'm unsure whether it's my own fault that I'm unsatisfied or if it's the student's unsatisfied voices that gets me down? It really matters to me when my students are happy and are smiling. Maybe this might even have something to do with the post I had a few days ago where I'm not sure if kids like me when I teach. Kids are very honest and show their honest opinion when they are happy or not during class. I get really worried sometimes whenever I have classes with kids that aren't really very into classes. I know that studying is めんどくさい which is why I try my best to be a bit of silly during class. It makes me worried if kids are having classes with me and are still serious after I do a lot of silliness in class. Well. 不安です。でも大丈夫です。頑張りたいと思います。I'm not even sure if my Japanese is good again.

ーメイコ

I feel a bit unsettled and unsatisfied today. I'm not happy with today's performance. I'm a little too critical to myself? I'm not sure. For me it's not a good day. I'm happy to meet people who are very close to me today. I know it's the last day for the holiday and they chose to spend their time to me which makes me really happy. It's just I don't know why but I feel not I'm not being liked or something.

I want to share something. I was talking with a friend of mine and she kind of just switched some gears in my head and I can't help but sharing it here as well. People always say that in order to be happy, you need to stop listening or caring about what other people think about you and live your life like you want it to be. Uhm correct me if I'm wrong but I think this is a bit of a western ideology. She was asking me what I thought about her and our friend's image. Like what image do they give off. I told her that for me there is no malice in whatever they do. They're together as friends and I see nothing more than that. Why do I see them that way? because she told me her feelings about him and I know that is the truth. I would see them as what she says. I know how they look like and I know what kind of vibe they have as friends. Other people misinterpret that but I don't because she told me. I told her that what really matters is what she thinks. OK let me pause at this part.
This, in all honesty, is one of the hardest thing a Filipino person can truly achieve. She even confirmed what I thought by saying It's hard. I, in all honesty, agree with her because I need this advice myself. Without really thinking about it, I told her that there is nothing wrong in saying and thinking that it's hard. It's part of our culture. I told her that our friend isn't really like us because he grew up in South Africa then moved to Russia. He grew up in a place, that unlike us, aren't controlled. I'm not sure if anyone is taking this the wrong way. How do I say controlled? At a young age, our parents and environment tell us to be conscious of our surroundings. I'm not saying that in a positive way. It's our parents who are the ones who made us conscious of how others see us. We're too concerned of what they think that we started even thinking about how other people see us as well. If anyone wants to confront me about this please do so but I really believe that not everything our parents do, even if they think it's for the best, is not for our sake. They might even be doing it unconsciously but it's still their actions. I want to explain myself more but I think I've had enough of this topic for a little bit. I'll try to be ok tomorrow. It's a day off anyways. See you guys later.

ーメイコ

If there is something I am super thankful right now for having a job, it's the fact I wake up early without any aid. I don't know it's really automatic. My body even if I sleep in slightly different hours, it automatically wakes me up at about 5 am and another at 6. If I sleep a bit earlier, I might always wake up with no need to extend at 5 am. I am kinda aiming to sleep a bit earlier. If that happens and I can wake up very early with no sleepiness whatsoever. I am planning to try and jog for reals. I hope like 9pm? I'm hoping. I mean everyday at 10pm I'm already kinda tearing already from sleepiness. I think what I need is also to be physically tired. Who knows? Maybe it may make me super healthy? I mean jogging in the morning then yoga at night? I hope that works. I'm not sure when I should properly have a bath tho? haha that might be a bit confusing? I'm thinking whether before working in the morning or after having yoga at night? It's making me undecided. haha. Well for now I conveyed a kind of thankful feeling towards everybody. I don't know right now all I have is teaching. It keeps me grounded. So thank you. :) Just a picture of me waking up a few days ago.
ーメイコ

今日。。。ちょっと難しいです。I did not expect to teach almost all day to kids. I really wonder how much of them liked me o.o I'm scared I'll just be hated or something o.o I also got a little something a while ago. I didn't expect it too much anymore because I've been failing a lot recently. lol. but let me share anyways.
I'm not sure but maybe because I have bad comments. That's why I don't have too many students there. So they suggested I teach materials especially for them. I don't know what to expect yet. For now. I'll just say good night happy I've had クロッケ that I haven't eaten in a while. I'm happy. and I'm a little bit really tired. I kept watching いただきハイジャンプ after working and now I didn't realize I'm about to sleep already. I must be really tired. haha. I'll say good night now. :) おやすみ

ーメイコ

Today, I've been on a bit of a roller coaster. I feel happy that it is the first time in a while that I have full classes on a weekday. I feel happy because I have a lot of kids in my class today. But I think I'm starting to doubt whether kids like me or not. I'm not sure? Not all of the kids were smiling. I know I like to say ニコニコ知ってね whenever I talk to them. They don't smile too much tho? :( I wonder if how I teach is not too good for them. :( どうしようかな？I guess I need to think about it more tonight. I have lots of kids to talk to tomorrow it seems. Well I have to say today, almost everyone I talked to is new. Except one person. I wanted to share a bit what we talked about today because I became really excited and I did not expect it. So what was so special about our talk a while ago? I did not expect him to talk about an animal that is local in South America to be located in Japan. What am I talking about?
These adorable creatures called alpacas! I want to go to Japan like right now just so I can finally be able to see these cute creatures. I really thought they could only be found in South America. So that's why lots of Japanese shows and varieties show alpacas! I didn't know there were some in Japan! That's so cooooool! I've known about alpacas when I was in high school, I think. A friend of mine showed me pictures of alpacas and how fluffy they were. I even found a blog dedicated to alpacas, which is why I've always kinda wanted to see one in real life for a long time. It seems I don't need to go to South America anymore to see one! I can't wait for the time I go to Japan now! haha I feel like a kid wanting to go to the zoo. haha forgive me. I'm too excited. I have to be honest about something. I feel bad I haven't been doing my school work lately. I promise to do them next week! I promise to finish the last exam for work today. After that I don't know if I'll take exams there anymore. Next week, I promise to finish at least 4 exams on my certificate. I need to make it to the halfway mark! Ok I have a goal. I have to promise myself to do it! I hope everyone supports me! :D For now, I am going to work on my freelancing work. I hope to finish them tonight so I can focus on teaching tomorrow. See you guys tomorrow! :)

ーメイコ

Today, I kinda am still sick but a different reason. I'm sick because I have stomach cramps today. So yeah. Here is what I was I got myself yesterday
Yey! I feel like I'm rewarding myself of some sort. haha. sorry if this is what I keep posting about for the last few days. But really! I feel happy and lucky to have met everyone for the last few days :) I met a lot of new people the last few days and I just really want to express my gratitude because you all gave me your time :) I hope I can share more and more to a lot of you! I also didn't see until now that I just got 4.9 stars! wow! Thank you very much! 😘 Also I might sleep already. I suddenly got a lot of work from my freelancing job. and everyone knows cramps and 2 jobs don't work too well right? So I hope everyone has a good night because it might be a real comfy night tonight! it's raining 😍 Good night 😉 ❤️

ーメイコ