As much as I hate admitting my fears, I have one I'm scared of that I'm currently unsure of what to do about. Mostly it's because it's something I really don't want and I still have to deal with it because it might be my reality, which is why I'm afraid of it. Ok so what am I talking about? the reality that I might have to wear glasses. I don't want it. すごく大嫌いですよ。やだ。I took care of my eyes so hard just so I never have to wear glasses again. I'm saying again because I did used to have glasses as a kid. but I kinda did bad things to it so I have to remove them. so my naughtiness actually paied off and corrected my astigmatism as a kid. I don't want to wear glasses for reals :( I don't want :( so here is what I look like now because Kate was basically scaring me yesterday that it's my eyes that might be the reason for my almost constant head aches. すごく欲しくない。I hope these lessen the headaches even if I feel stupid. whatever works.

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I don't know why but I feel like I should have explained more on the PPS on the previous post. Well DMM was putting up notices that they want teachers to have the TOEFL, IELTS, and just yesterday EIKEN tags. Last week, I expressed interest and took the tests to see if I could have the tags, I sure hope I get them because I feel it would make others feel comfortable to have my classes. I mean I'm not good at business but recently I've been feeling pretty good at talking about business with those that request it. but better not jinx it, I still feel like I have a long way to go. Sometimes I feel bad and think maybe the people from the office would think of me as someone who's greedy. I'm not really. I just always remember what I used to say to myself back when I was in GnGn, to always try opportunities I see. If it works then awesome if not, it's great as well because I know the pessimistic me tried and I didn't close my door to that opportunity. I know I can't be a hypocrite and say I say yes to every opportunity, because there are some opportunities that I do want to try but end up saying no or wishing I can say yes to them later rather than now. For the ones I see where it can just add rather than really change my dynamics, I do them. More because I want to challenge myself and see if I can do it and improve myself. If I do get a tag, I hope you guys think of it as me working hard. Because I really try my best and see if I can be someone who anyone can go to if they need help. I'm not sure if I can get those tags but I can let you guys know I'm doing it with your needs in mind. I hope I see you guys soon! Inspiration for later.

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Hi. A while ago I was in an interview and it made me realize why I was unhappy with what I have now. It's not that I'm not happy teaching it's more like I'm not used to just having this job and not do anything else but this. Most of you guys probably know or if you guys like read further to last year that I worked for GnGn, when I was working there, I wasn't just a teacher, I had other jobs to keep me occupied, other tasks that make me feel happy. I didn't know it was that feeling until I had this interview earlier and somehow I feel happy she made me realize that unidentified hole in me. It makes real sense now as to why I feel really unsettled and not really happy with just teaching. I was so used to having more than one thing to do and to look forward to, like if I get tired of doing one thing I can switch to the other whenever I feel like it. so uhm yeah, you're asking what's the quote above supposed to be? Well the thing is, honestly? having 2 jobs a the same time is very taxing and I didn't realize until a while ago despite me getting sick and travelling far just for work, I enjoyed every moment of it and you guys can probably guess by now why right? There are people who made it very worth it. If I'm going to be honest I think I found someone who might also be like that. I kinda hope she doesn't look at my blog right now and I'll be embarrassed if she does. I'm gonna hope she forgets to look at my blog but I really just wanted to share and to let everybody know that it's actually very important and very comfortable if you find a boss who makes working worthwhile, I certainly didn't feel like I was working, they were there with me, and I hope maybe she can be like that too.

PS. I realize how embarrassing my blog looks like right now. I hope she still considers me, I mean look at that paint made edit I did. I stupidly need a good editor right now. I'm going to facepalm all night. lol.

PPS. I'll try to have lots of tags for teaching. I tried TOEFL, IELTS, and later I'm going to try to have/apply for the EIKEN tag. Wish me well guys! I want to teach you guys more stuff! :D

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